The perfect storm...

Brad, Harper and I all had allergies flare up over the weekend, so we didn't feel good and we were tired. Also really tired from a long weekend with family things going on.

Harper woke at 4:30 a.m. and wanted to nurse.

I slept in a little because she had been up so early and because I didn't feel good.

Left the house at 8:00 a.m. - not ideal, but I can still make it to the office before 8:30....any other morning.

I got to her school a little after 8am and could smell that Harper needed a diaper. Here is where I made my mistake. At that moment in time I had a happy child who just needed a quick change (so I thought) and I decided to do it myself rather than leave her with her teacher to change it. Big mistake. The diaper had FAILED. There was a MAJOR product defect with my pampers and it had catastrophically FAILED. To make matters worse Harper had a huge BM, one that I would normally be proud of had it not been all over her leg, her back, her front, coating the inside of her pant leg and soaking the bottom of her onesie. Slimy, gooey BM all over everything.

I go to change her and have to strategically roll up her onesie so that I don't spread the BM goo all over her face when I pull it off. I pull off her pants, she instinctively knew this was her moment and she stuck her foot in the mess that is now on the table. This is when her teacher tells me "Oh, we usually put paper down as a barrier when there is fecal matter involved." Really? Good to know for FUTURE REFERENCE. For now, I am trying desperately not get the "fecal matter" all over my Antonio Melani suit.

Harper is now crying and getting more upset. She is butt naked on the table that is covered in her matter and I just want to abandon ship right there. Her cute "Mommy's Little Sweetheart" onesie is ruined and all I have to change her into is the hot pink onesie from our family reunion that has a picture of old people and the words "Who are all these relatives?" on it. The fresh pants are brown and way too short, her socks are pink and black. She looks awful, but at least she is clean now.

I didn't make it to the office until 9:15. I got all the way to my desk before realizing I left my briefcase with my laptop in the car. To top it off, I have Harper's little outfit that is covered in fecal matter in a plastic sack on my desk. I was not allowed to rinse it out at her school due to code regulations and I didn't want to leave it in my car on an 80 degree day. What the heck do I do with it at a law firm? I can't exactly wash it out in the kitchen sink where the partners get their coffee. So it is sitting on my desk and I just smile because Harper is still pretty darn cute, even covered in goo.